Monday, March 19, 2007

Online Personal Ads: Are they really worth it?

By Willie J aka Williebear

Now I know I'm in a relationship here which is going well for three years thus far, but during my days of being a single gay man I had to deal with what online personals would be worth joining to get some connections to another gay man. These days it has gone more to the bears as well as the rest of the gay community.

There are quite a few out there but these are the ones I've ran into during my travels on the world wide web. Some of them are rather under the radar but has quite a good following such as and

Even the older sites like has bear profiles which also indicate what groups some of the members are a part of to see what events are possible to meet them at. Then there are those who are in the mainstream of the bear community such as which does the US and overseas areas to find other bears. Also bear411 which is run by a guy name Greg who has also connected and into the bear411 system like site.

There are also newbies coming up on the internet like which is trying to be an alternate solution to bear411 due to rumors of instant messages disappearing on the site. This website is just starting out and their way of chatting is mainly email/instant message like but not as fast going as many of the other websites.

What are the differences in the sites? The ones i've mentioned you can join for free. Bear411 and Bearwww however you can upgrade your membership to get the full potential of the personal ad website (but it is still free to join as a basic member). And as mentioned before, some websites does give the individual a chance to chat view instant message on the website to other guys that are online the same time as you.

Another mainstream website for personal ads is the ever well known to the gay community called which does not only bears and cubs but chubs (big fat men) and chasers (those who admire big fat men). This website does basic (free) membership and premium (paid) membership but everyone can enjoy the view of the personal ads, photos and the chat room that the site has which includes webcam viewing. Of course you can also go to other websites that has been around such as which has a chatroom as well but not with all the bells and whistles like

What's the negative to them? The drama and flakers are the biggest reason for many guys not wanting to deal with personal ads. Not only that but also those who are not looking for sex at first sight will have a hard time finding someone to meet up for just a cup of coffee if the site has mostly horny guys needing a 'booty call'.

So bottom line is this, you can pick your site for a personal ad but it won't do much if you can't be yourself. It is the internet after all so drama is a given when it comes to dealing with and reacting to others. Your safe bet is to try out these websites and hope for the best but don't be disappointed if nothing happens immediately. Finding love takes time and so does finding the right one for your life to be complete.


buff said...

Great comments about all the bear sites. Also try and USfur. They are great sites as well. WOOF

joseph said...

biggercity sucks..too many closeted queers and married men for my taste..I would never recommend that place to anyone. and they condone it too. bear411 is worthwhile because you have to have a face pic to join.